by "Ben Folds Five"

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts
She'll make ya breakfast
She'll make ya toast
She don't use butter
She don't use cheese
She don't use jelly
Or any of these
She uses vaseline (vaseline)
Vaseline (vaseline)

I know a guy who goes to shows
When he's at home and he blows his nose
He don't use tissues or his sleeve
He don't use napkins or any of these
He uses magazines (magazines)
Magazines (magazines)

I know a girl who reminds me of cher
She's always changing
The color of her hair
But she don't use nothing
That ya buy at the store
She likes her hair to be real orange
She uses tangerines (tangerines)
Tangerines (tangerines)
Tangerines (tangerines)